Read Well, This Is Exhausting: Essays By Sophia Benoit

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Well, This Is Exhausting: Essays-Sophia Benoit

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Named a Best Book of the Month by Vogue, Good Morning America, Bustle, Fortune, Goodreads, and more! From Bustle columnist and Twitter sensation Sophia Benoit, this “charming and often laugh-out-loud funny” (Vogue) memoir-in-essays explores the ins and outs of modern womanhood—from finding feminism, the power of pop culture, and how to navigate life’s constant double standards—perfect for fans of Shrill and PEN15.Like so many women, Sophia spent her formative years struggling to do the “right” thing—to make others comfortable, to take minimal and calculated risks, to live up to society’s expectations—only to realize that there was so little payoff to this tiresome balancing act. She spends her childhood in Missouri navigating her parents’ divorce and helping care for her younger siblings, always remaining reliable and responsible. She heads off to college having completely missed her change at a carefree youth. Tired of trying so hard, Sophia finally lets go of the crushing pressure to be perfect. She navigates the highs and lows of the dating world (high: being a beta tester for Bumble; low: hastily shaving her legs before a hotel hookup and getting blood all over the sheets), and walks the line between being a “chill” girl and making sure her boyfriend’s nonchalance about altitude sickness doesn’t get him killed. She learns what it means to be a feminist, how to embrace her own voice, and when to listen to women who have been through more and have been doing the work longer. With varied and laugh-out-loud funny topics ranging from how to be the life of the party (even when you have crippling anxiety), to an ill-fated consultation with a dietician who deems Sophia’s overindulgence in ketchup a serious health risk, to a masterful argument for why no one should judge you for having an encyclopedic knowledge of reality TV, Well, This is Exhausting explores what it means to care too much and try too hard, while maintaining a sense of humor about the absurdity of it all.

Book Well, This Is Exhausting: Essays Review :



You're probably thinking that a review by a father of his daughter's book is worthless, maybe worse than the promotional crap written by online actives raving about the free Pampers they got from Procter & Gamble. Get over it--if you think this is a light attempt to boost a child's prospects, you are wrong; this was a hard read for me, perhaps more than for anyone else.She was always a weird kid, but I probably hadn't realized just how weird. When your daughter is a young adult and 2000 miles away (permanently away and shunning all efforts to guilt, bribe, or cajole her to return) you imagine simple life for her of classes, reading, taking up tennis, hosting a few female friends for a weekly Mahjong game (I don't even know what Mahjong is, but she is in LA and it couldn't be anything normal like "Risk" or "Hearts"). To be sure I had suspicions along the way that all her time was not filled by Midwestern-type activities. However I was not quite ready to hop on the California-Teen-Young Adult-Social Media-Screamer that was my daughter's life.There are few words to describe my reaction to Sophia's recounting of some of her life's events and challenges except perhaps CRUSHED, DECIMATED, HURT, REGRETFUL, BESIDE MYSELF, DISSAPPOINTED, EMBARRASSED, AND SAD. I actually bought 31 copies of the book. There was no magic to 31--I accidently ordered 1 copy then added an order for 30 intending to give them to family and friends. How the hell can I give this to family and friends? Think Charles Manson's mom gave autographed 8x10 glossies of Charles to the neighbors?But I got through it, mostly by taking it in small doses with a spoonful of sugar (actually fermented grapes, which, as you will learn in the book, are a problem for me). I found by the end, partly because there is no bitter, discordant conclusion, that Sophia was OK, probably even much better than OK*. I realized I had gone through/done much of what she had (well, not the eye thing, but substantial equivalents) and she came by this honestly. Sophia presented this in interesting fashion and with a fair hand (though I think she could have praised me a lot more in the Acknowledgements)**.*I am not on any social media and never will be so it may be a bit unfair of me, but Leslie should stick to underwear and dog treats.**I also think she inadvertently used a Brady Bunch line without attribution. I am sure it was inadvertent, because it is utterly unimaginable that Sophia would pass up an opportunity to cite Mike Brady.
While many aspects of being a teen girl/young woman have been well covered as titillating examples of exploitation think Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Brooke Shields Marilyn Monroe there are plenty of overlooked but still interesting examples of smart awkward girls; horny but sexually ignored (sturdy) women, who were fed examples of sexy, exciting, glamorous lifestyles by society, which fail to match the cruel reality of adolescence and young adulthood. Basically, while we as a society are quick to support our beautiful delicate waifish adolescent flowers against the piggish male gaze, we don't know what to do with our culturally engaged, horny chubsters who fuel the machine of inadequacy, which sells tabloid content, magazines, rom-coms and trashy reality shows, like the Bachelor, yet feel rejected by it. As a similar awkward male this is a familiar trope of wish fulfillment, well satiated on the geeky male side, but intriguingly meeting a cultural deficit represented by Ms. Benoit on social media and in this book, on the more socially quelled aspects of femininity and intelligence. In case she's reading this I have a horse, a goat, two cats, a dog and a turtleneck.One example I took to heart was her love, hate relationship with Cosmopolitan magazine. While on the one hand, she was reading Cosmo grappling with whether the magazine focused too much on pleasing men, I was reading Cosmo trying to recreate scenarios for girls I knew which would allow them to reenact the scripts presented in the mag. Spoiler: it worked.I could quibble with a lot of things said in this book but still it's refreshing to find a book which demands a conversation. That makes sense for someone who came out of Twitter.Reading this book should be an aspirational example to young women seeking to being interesting to non basic guys and who feel creating a fake insta, snap, tik twitch persona exhausting and unnecessary.While I don't pretend to be a large demographic I fully expect to say I was on the ground floor before she writes Notting Mean Girls Hill.

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